Sorry for a negative blog title, but this post from Justin and Trisha is fantastic! Its a perfect primer for our next Mens Night on September 1.
They say:
“There are so many things that your marriage can survive. You marriage can survive miscommunication. Your marriage can survive busy schedules. Your marriage can overcome conflict with your in-laws. Your marriage can get through sexual brokenness and unforgiveness. But, there are two words that will eventually bring an end to your marriage…if not legally then definitely emotionally.
The two words are…
…IF ONLY…
- If only my wife had sex with me more often
- If only my husband looked at me like my boss does
- If only we had kids
- If only we made more money
- If only we lived in a bigger house
- If only we would have dated longer
- If only she took care of herself like the lady at the gym
- If only my high school boyfriend and I would have stayed together
- If only we hadn’t had kids so young
- If only she understood me
- If only he listened to me
- If only I knew we were soul mates
- If only she cooked more or better
- If only he could do things around the house
If only causes you to focus on what isn’t rather than on what is. If only allows your mind to fantasize about someone that isn’t your spouse. If only believes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If only paralyzes us in the pursuit of our spouse and convinces us that a perfect marriage is competently up to the other person. If only will slowly destroy intimacy and leave you in a place of resentment. If only will trick you into believing that the best days of your marriage are behind you and and not ahead of you.
The best thing you can do for your marriage today is remove “if only” from your mind and heart.
You can’t change the past, but you can prevent the past from destroying your future.”
GB
I just happened upon your blog but I wanted to thank you for this post as it really hits home with me right now.